I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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