No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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