Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
