Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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