Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I want you more than these girls want KFC
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
