I molested 6 butterflies tonight
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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