and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
