covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
