Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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