saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
No subtext here. People are naked.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
soo... how was my night?
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