I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
