Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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