i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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