she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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