I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
