what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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