You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
