This girl is more easily done than said...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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