As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
