There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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