I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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