capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
