Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
