I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
...so i touched it.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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