My nipple is on Facebook.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
