My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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