Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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