the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
