Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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