you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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