Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
