so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
