i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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