it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my shit smells like andre
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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