3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
