I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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