So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
