Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
