I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You're like the curious george of whores
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
