wrigley field is MILF paradise
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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