i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
