My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
