just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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