Its about making memories worth repressing
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
