i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize