I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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