Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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