no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
