Buhtt sex?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
