Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
