We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
