I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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