dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
be right there i have to get my cape
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
