I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
