I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
