I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
