I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
