This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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