she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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