i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
