She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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